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[icon] Perspectives.. - anterockstar
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Current Music:The Kiss - The Cure
Current Location:The Office
Time:06:26 pm
Current Mood:contentcontent

I'm writing here really for the most part about my feelings and such (as they're the only ones I can really speak with any authority on), but others in my life (obviously) have feelings about what I'm doing.

Justin for example.

I wrote some lyrics yesterday, and in them I used the word "cunt".  When I asked Justin what he thought of them, he criticized my use of the word, saying it was too harsh, and misplaced.   We had a discussion about it, and I defended my use of the word, stating that:

a)  it keeps the meter
b)  it rhymes
c)  It's not the only cuss word in the lyrics
d)  It jives with the tone of the rest of the song, which is meant to be dark and aggressive for the genre I'm writing for

The song is a general statement on the core nature of the male/female relationship.

Despite these points, Justin insists that the word isn't appropriate for the rest of the lyrics.

I think what's really going on here is that Justin's not ready to hear his mother scream words like "cunt" in public.  It's not like he's not familiar with my temperament, fondness for cussing, sexuality, or any other aspect of my personality.   I don't know exactly what to tell him in order to help him process this in his head.   We'll do what we always do, talk about it, till everyone's ok with it.

This of course brings to the forefront the whole issue of cussing in general.  I remember when I first heard Robert Smith use the word "fuck" in a song I was tremendously disappointed, because I'd come to appreciate Robert's abilities to use language, and I felt that his resorting to use a cuss word showed a lack of vocabulary.

Upon further reflection, when re-listening to the offending song (The Kiss, off Kiss me, Kiss me, Kiss me), it dawned on me that the word was used in context, and really..... there was no other word he could use to convey the emotion he was trying to.  ("Get your fucking voice out of my head").  I mean, I've felt that way.... all the time.

Artistic license aside, there are issues of what are we teaching our children when writing/using/propagating words that have negative connotations attached to them.

Words by themselves mean nothing.... discussion... that means something, and although he's not happy with it, we have had discussions about it, and just the fact that I can have that kind of discussion with my teenage son makes me feel secure in the fact that he will understand why such words exist, why and when and in what context they should be used.  It also makes me feel good, cause most kids his age can't have that kind of conversation with their parents.

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Time:2006-09-24 12:24 am (UTC)
Good for you, Justin. You are well on your way to becoming an adult.
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Time:2006-09-24 06:22 pm (UTC)
Justin, think your mother should be raised by you. I think you have more sense than she does. Keep up the good work, maybe one day she will understand that the word "cunt" is degrading to any woman and should never, at the least, come out of a supposed "woman's" mouth. nor any man's if he has respect for women and himself. Have you checked lately, maybe she isn't a woman at all. Raising kids is not just raising weed, it's taking care of them for all their needs, be it moral, spiritual, physical and emotional. It's making sure that they will able to survive in this primarily moral society and not be trashed because of their filthy mouths and loose morals.

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Subject:Re: Perspectives
Time:2006-09-24 08:28 pm (UTC)

Words are only degrading if you deem them so. As are opinions.

Thank you for yours.

While Justin is encouraged to form his own opinions and philosophies, I would remind the audience that he has in fact been raised by his father and myself, and as his primary caregivers, we are the ones who laid the groundwork for those philosophies and opinions. The same way our parents did for us.

He is now at a point in his life where those opinions and philosophies are colored by other influences (help, my children are being raised by Madonna and Metallica!). Under his direction, and our guidance. My lyrics are not the only time he has ever heard the word cunt, neither will they be the last (or any other obscenity for that matter).

The discussion that ensues from there is what is important, as I stated in my post. We hope that this helps Justin not only survive and thrive, but encourage him to take a hand in shaping our society into something better than it is today.

My dear friend Y, I don't know where you get the idea that our society is primarily moral... you need to pick up a paper, or maybe leave your house every once in a while (or even better, revise your definition of moral). The world is full of people who care only for themselves, and the validity of their opinions, and live lies (and hurt, and even KILL!) because of fear of loss and judgement. All under the flag of morality (or justice, or whatever righteous concept you want to use). As if simply saying it sanctifies their actions.

You can think what you want about me, at the very least, I'm showing my true colors. I am not what you define as a woman. Fair enough. If you were any kind of human being yourself, and I hate to repeat myself here, but once again.... if you haven't the strength in your convictions to name yourself......perhaps you're not so convinced of them yourself.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Subject:It always amazes me...
Time:2006-09-24 08:56 pm (UTC)
...how supposedly mature people will so eagerly stoop to attacking you by going through your children.

I'm also amazed at how people are so unwilling to acknowledge that your children are as incredible and wonderful as they are BECAUSE OF and not IN SPITE OF you.

What really gets me though is how these people love to sit in judgement over you from the lofty Ivory Tower of their own self-righteousness. Hating the "sin" and loving the sinner means accepting people as they are, not telling them how to live their lives...

...perhaps if these people actually left their cloistered little worlds and went out to try and interact with other people, and not just those who enable their closemindedness they'd have less interest in casting judgements and more interest in actually loving, as Jesus taught (Apparently they were asleep in class on that day).

Oh well...
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Subject:Re: It always amazes me...
Time:2006-09-24 09:04 pm (UTC)
When I told Gerry from the band that I'd used the word in the lyrics I was a tad embarrassed. He said, why? It's just a word.....lol...

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Subject:List of euphamisms for the female genitalia...alphebetized
Time:2006-09-24 09:26 pm (UTC)
Now personally, I think these are FAR more vulgar than "Cunt"

Axe Wound
Bacon Strip
Bearded Clam
Beef Curtain
Clam Sandwich
Clown's Pocket
Cod Canal
Crotch Taco
Cum Catcher
Fish Factory
Flesh Wallet
Fur Pie
Goo Pot
Hair Pie
Horizontal Fishcake
Lobster Claw
Man In The Canoe
Meat Muffin
Money Box
Organ Grinder
Oyster Taco
Pee Bug
Peter Pleaser
Pink Stink
Poke Hole
Red Snapper
Rooster Fish
Spam Purse (not kidding)
Spock Socket
Stinky Pinky
Yeast Cake
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Subject:Re: List of euphamisms for the female genitalia...alphebetized
Time:2006-09-24 09:54 pm (UTC)
Steve, your wizardry with Google is timeless.... I think you made your point hon.... now go find something else to google. :oP

Thank you tho, for giving me options which might redeem me, were it not for the fact that none of the above words keep the meter...or rhyme.

I found it interesting that the word in question preceeded the use of the word "vagina" as an anatomical reference, and is seen as vulgar because of how it sounds for the most part.

In defence of my innocence, I would also like to point out that it took me nearly ten years to get the gist of the "hair pie" joke when it was used in "Revenge of the Nerds".

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Subject:Re: List of euphamisms for the female genitalia...alphebetized
Time:2006-09-24 10:28 pm (UTC)
my opinion personally is, its music, there are going to be obscene words no matter what.if using an onbscene word is the most harmful someone can do, then so be it. you cant dodge one place in this universe without some sort of "bad" word crossing your path
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[icon] Perspectives.. - anterockstar
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